What is a Living Wake?
Have you ever heard of a living wake?
When you hear the word wake in relation to a funeral, you would imagine the people who attended the funeral meeting up an at a community hall or sports club to eat some food and talk about the person who has died.
If you’ve had a moment at a funeral or memorial where you thought “I wish they were here to see this”, then a living wake might be for you.
A living wake (or living funeral, life celebration, farewell party, etc) is similar, except the person hasn’t died yet. It’s a chance for the person to spend time with loved ones and hear and say all the things that need to be said before they die. We often don’t speak the things we need to, tell people we love them enough or revel in our loved ones while they’re here.
These celebrations can already happen when someone reaches a milestone birthday - whether that is 70, 80, 90 or even 100! People who are diagnosed with a life limiting illness may not have the chance to reach those milestone birthdays, and therefore miss out on those big celebrations. A living wake allows them to have this before they die.
How do I plan a living wake?
A living wake is not much different from a wake, there’s still food, there’s still conversation and there’s still a focus on one person. It could be whatever you would like it to be.
Living wakes tend to be more celebratory than serious like a funeral.
Some people want to host a dance party, others want to be roasted by their friends and family, some people want something simple like a BBQ in their backyard and others just want to be enveloped in the love of their people in a special place.
These celebrations of life can still include the same elements of a funeral, such as readings or poems, favourite songs or music playing, people reading out tributes, and even the person who is dying reading out a eulogy that they’ve written about their life.
A living wake is as much for the living as it is for the dying. Those who will be left behind will be able to express their love for the person dying, to share memories and stories with them, and to spend some time intentionally with them. Closure and healing can also take place here, which will benefit both the living and the dying.
A living wake also allows people to openly talk about death and dying, and to prepare for it in new ways.
Either way, a living wake is all about the person who is dying, who they are as a person, and how they want to be remembered.
As James Valentine said about his living wake, “Give me your love, so I can take it with me.”
